Up in North Norfolk last week we indulged in our usual passion of eating out as much as possible. That usually means morning coffee and an evening meal.
Coffee-wise, prices for a fancy coffee (that's anything other than an Americano) are now getting towards the £3 a cup mark. And now tea cakes and scones are in some places over £4 a time. Now that to me is ridiculous. You can get tea cakes from the supermarket for about 20p each - that's a 2000% mark up! In a bakery in Cromer they were just 80p each. Similarly making a scone can cost just a few pence and the one I bought was £4.10p!
Same with evening meals in pubs as well. Prices for a main course have gone through the £10 mark and are now climbing towards £15. Our friend paid £15 for gammon and chips in a pub in Blakeney.
I know that pubs/restaurants etc have been hit hard by the pandemic but it seems that prices are beginning to rise to an unacceptable level and that will only rebound on the establishments with fewer people eating out when the pandemic has left us.
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Now I would like to tell you the tale of a dear friend who has met an untimely end.
Yes a cup of tea has been murdered!
This capital offence apparently takes place throughout the country and also abroad. It usually follows a threat.
"I could murder a cup of tea."
That is followed by the crime itself. I have probably used the threat myself. I think more people should be arrested for murdering a cup of tea. I can see the court case now:
Mr Smith you are charged that on the 19th day of October, 2020, you did wilfully and intentionally murder a cup of tea. How do you plead to the charge?
Not guilty your honour on the grounds of diminished responsibility.
Then the clincher as the judge enquires of his clerk.
"Are there any previous convictions."
"Yes your honour, the defendant has previously been found guilty of murdering a pint of beer and murdering a meat and potato pie."
And have you noticed how nobody ever asks you if you want a cup of tea? It's always "would you like a nice cup of tea?" I'm not sure what a nasty cup of tea would be like.
The word nice takes me back to my junior school days. In the top year we had a teacher by the name of Mr London (I expect he may have been guilty of a CAPITAL offence. I'm sure he didn't have a first name). He hated the word "nice" and we had to avoid using it. Of course he may have just been doing this for fun.
But there was a punishment for the use of this word. You had to go out in front of the class and have the indignity of having your ear twisted. This was embarrassing and also left you with a temporarily painful ear. Of course this wouldn't be allowed today but, by and large, we took it in good heart.
So if you said you could murder a nice cup of tea you would have been charged with a serious offence and have had your ear twisted all in one.
I must admit that the word "nice" is rather bland. I would group it with "stuff" which is pretty meaningless. But now we are on the topic of words, I hate it when somebody gives degrees of uniqueness. Something is either unique (the only one of its kind) or not unique. It can't be almost unique, totally unique or any other form of unique other than unique itself.