So today I will tell you about our visit there on Sunday and so it will be a mini travelogue as I know some of my readers enjoy them.
Southend and back is a journey for us of just over 200 miles, so not something to be entered into lightly.
It wasn't a case of randomly picking it for a day out. We were primarily going to see granddaughter Poppy in her stage performance (more about that later).
We set off at 10.30 because we wanted to get there in plenty of time to have a look round.
Southend is now officially a city. It got city status thanks to the sterling efforts of MP Sir David Amess who is the kind of MP that everyone needs, as opposed to our MP who is the kind that you don't need.
David Amess was a huge supporter of Southend and campaigned tirelessly on behalf of local people. It was a tragedy when he was murdered. But that did result in Southend being given city status.
We arrived after a drive of almost three hours thanks to slow moving traffic around Colchester. I'm not somebody that enjoys driving for driving sake and I hate heavy traffic. My first thought when I got onto the sea front was to ditch the car for the day.
Problem number one. There were plenty of parking places on the seafront if you didn't mind paying a ridiculous price. To park for the length of time we needed would have cost £22.
So we turned round and found a large car park and found the charges were the same despite the fact it was strewn with rubbish and wasn't much more than a piece of waste land.
"Why don't we park in a side road," said the other threequarters helpfully.
And there were plenty of places in the side roads. Problem was every side road was on parking meters at the same ridiculously high rate. It seemed like a right Royal stitch up.
We did find a car park more reasonably priced at around £12 for the day. We parked there along with about five other vehicles. Throughout our stay we saw a veritable army of traffic operatives/parking monitors or whatever they are now called, checking on cars. This must cost the council a fortune and contributes to the ridiculously high charges. So welcome to Southend - a place that wants your money.
I did want to walk the 1.4 mile long pier heralded as the longest pleasure pier in the world. There's pretty much nothing on it, so the word pleasure might be slightly misleading. And of course you had to pay to go on it. Southend weren't going to miss out in the money stakes.
You could walk both ways for £2.50 but if you wanted to get the little train either one way or both ways it would have cost you around £6.
Brighton Pier, Eastbourne Pier, Cromer Pier, Hastings Pier, Lowestoft Piers, Great Yarmouth Piers are just some of the piers we have visited fairly recently and none of them charge and they are a lot more interesting than Southend Pier. It's simply the Southend length that makes it important. For another fee you can also buy a certificate proving you walked the pier although the last time I checked walking under three miles isn't a great achievement, but if you are Southend you can't miss any opportunity to make a bit more cash.
So we ended up pierless and settled for a coffee while a bit of drizzle fell. You can eat at many places on Southend Sea Front with names like Las Vegas Diner. We've been to diners in Las Vegas and I noted a shortage there of Southend Diner's.
When the rain abated we went for a lengthy walk away from the sea front and it's gut wrenching roller coasters and one ride where you hang hundreds of feet in the air upside down. Whatever floats your boat I suppose.
Now away from the seafront there are pleasant gardens and greenery although the smell of cannabis hangs heavy in the air. There are new lands to explore and some of the historic housing is interesting. Away from the sea front it's a pleasant place. You can park up here at £22 a day!
But onto the real business of the day. Poppy's show. Poppy goes to a Saturday dance and drama school called Stagecoach which is a clever name as it incorporates the stage and coaching. There are such schools all over the place and many from the East were combining for this show at the Palace Theatre which we assumed was in Southend because it was called Southend Palace Theatre in London Road.
I should have been a bit suspicious because when I bought the e tickets I had to check a box saying I was aware the performance was being held in The Palace Theatre.
We found London Road which was at the end of the High Street. London Road not surprisingly started at number one. When I checked our tickets (always print them out and never just keep them electronically) to my chagrin (isn't that a good word) Southend Palace Theatre was up in the four hundreds and over one and a half miles away and was actually in Westcliff on Sea.
So that's why they asked me to check the box to confirm I was aware that the Palace Theatre Southend isn't actually in Southend. But London Street in Norwich doesn't lead to London and neither do Swansea Street or Cardiff Street lead to Wales for that matter. It's all very difficult for a bear with such a small brain.
So it was back to the car and off to Westcliff where there was roadside parking if you could find it. Eventually we did.
Has anyone ever tried changing clothes in a car? There I was trying to change a T Shirt and shorts for trousers and a shirt without showing off bits of my body that absolutely nobody would want to see (I if course refer to my toes here. If you are imagining anything else you really need to get a grip). I eventually completed my wardrobe after much huffing and puffing and a bout of cramp brought about by trying to complete unnatural acts in a confined space (careful- no laughing).
We hooked up with younger son, daughter in law and grandson Elliot and had food with all five of us going for lasagne. It was a very limited menu and it was too late for the Sunday roast despite only being 5 pm.
Our family seems to have an obsession with lasagne. I enjoy it but can take it or leave it but our boys always used to go for it as they were growing up and now our grandchildren do the same. This lasagne had chewy cheese. I love chewy cheese. I chew it and chew it and then chew it some more. It's pretty much like chewing gum, although I don't spit it out or stick it on the underside of a table when I'm finished chewing it. Actually I have never stuck chewing gum on the underside of a table (honest). I usually use chairs!!!!
We used to be told never to swallow chewing gum as it plays havoc with internal organs. Apparently this just isn't true. It would simply pass through like everything else.
There's a lampost in Norwich where they have a board on which they invite people to put their used chewing gum. I think it's a good idea, having had to scrape gum off a shoe on many occasions. I'm not in the slightest bit worried that this is Big Brother's way of getting hold of DNA.
I have to end by apologising for the sheer length of this blog. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did in writing it and there's also pictures of Southend to go with it.
Tomorrow I will conclude this mini travelogue by telling you about the performance itself and also a major music venue that seems to be well past its sell by date.
Before I go, a heads up to anyone from Wymondham reading this. Car park attendants are currently active in the town so please ensure you have the necessary car parking tickets if you are parking in the town.