The never ending questions
What clothes do I take?
How do I get all the clothes in that small suitcase?
Do I need to pack jackets?
Do we have all the tickets?
Where did I put the Euros?
Has the car got enough petrol?
Do I take books or get by with my Kindle?
Have we paid all the outstanding bills?
What time do we need to set the alarm for?
Shall I take a camera or just take photos with my mobile?
And then paranoia sets in
What happens if we breakdown going to the train station?
What happens if the train doesn't run?
What happens if we don't get to the airport in time?
What happens if we are taken ill abroad ?
What happens if we oversleep?
What happens if we miss our train connection?
Paranoia is usually followed by more reasonable concerns.
Have I packed my medication?
Do I have my ear buds?
Am I still sure I have the tickets and passports. I know I checked them half an hour ago but they have a funny habit of moving away from where I put them?
Have we turned all the computers and lights off?
Have we locked all the doors?
And so on and so on. Worrying about all these things is very tiring especially when you consider we have never broken down on the way to a railway station or airport. Also lI have never overslept as I'm very likely to wake up every hour throughout the night.
I have never forgotten tickets or left passports behind. We always take far too many clothes so being restricted on how much we can take isn't a bad thing.
Things usually go pretty well, although I do remember missing a motorway turn off and having to drive back at breakneck speed and then run through the airport with two small children or getting on a plane to Boston just as they were closing the gate because our connection from Norwich to Amsterdam was delayed.
When you allow the internet to make arrangements for you, it never seems to take delays into consideration. Wymondham to Gatwick Sir, no problem. Take the train from Wymondham to Cambridge and change at Cambridge for the Brighton train which stops at Gatwick. What they don't factor in is the train from Wymondham being late or the fact that to reach your new platform means going up a flight of steps with heavy suitcases and then down a second flight and the connections give you about seven minutes to do this. It's made even more difficult by lots of people trying to get off the train and thus delaying you even more.
Paranoia kicks in again. Why has the driver turned the engine off. Has the train broken down? Why have we been sitting in this station for five minutes? Why has somebody that has just got on jammed my case in so it will make it extra tough to get out when we approach our station.
And after all this we have the airport experience. Shoes off, belts off, jackets off. Don't worry about your trousers falling down sir we've seen it all before.
Aah the airport experience. Having your shaving cream confiscated because it's in too big a container and should have been put on the bag on the aircraft hold, although we don't have any bags in the hold as it's all carry on nowadays unless you want to pay extra.
Sorry sir that bag's too large you'll have to pay extra. What's that sir you need the loo. That will be extra.
We don't serve meals any more sir but we do sell sandwiches at just £10 and crisps at only £8 a packet.
And going back to the airport. You will recognise me. I'm the laid back dude happily sitting in a chair and reading a book on my kindle. We've made it on time and there's about an hour before our departure gate is announced. So while the other four fifths goes walkabout round the shops buying things that we really don't need I'm appearing to relax on a seat, just too exhausted to do anything but sit, appear to read and appear to be nonchalantly laid back. Laid back that is until our departure gate is announced and the other four fifths hasn't returned from the shops and I can't see her anywhere and she still has to go to the loo and... And....and. Here comes my old friend paranoia.
So as we jet off wish me luck. I've just read through this blog and the paranoia is back. Now can I just check one more time that I've got those passports and just where did I put the Euros?