Yes you read that correctly, but not nasty ones. I'm talking nicknames here and I've had a few in my life.
Mind you there might be others that are less flattering but sticks and stones and all that.
There are of course the obvious ones - Stew, Stewpot, Peetey. But the two most interesting for me have nothing to do with my name or any mangling of it.
Those names were Timothy and Kenny. So why was I called Timothy and Kenny? Well one I can give you an explanation for and the other I haven't the faintest idea about.
My mother called me Timothy or Timothy Tight and I never once asked why. Neither did I find out where the name came from. I guess that's one I will never know.
Kenny is more understandable. When I was still young enough to play football, I loved playing on the right wing. I liked taking players on and (hopefully) beating them and then crossing the ball for a teammate to score from. I also liked scoring goals and in particular being put through with only the goalkeeper to beat which did happen on quite a few occasions.
My game at school was modelled on a Norwich City winger by the name of Kenny Foggo. He was a Scotsman and a wonderfully direct player with a shot as tough as steel. He was twice voted Norwich's player of the year. I used to hug the touchline and try to cut inside from out wide. Virtually everyone at school called me Kenny. My entire game was based on playing the same way as Mr Foggo. Absolutely everyone from my time of leaving school didn't call me Kenny.
Nicknames are strange things. Sometimes it's easy to see where they come from and sometimes it isn't. Recently I wrote a piece for the local paper about a guy I've known for many a month of Sundays by the name of John Curtis. Everyone knows him as Burt. Apparently at school he was referred to as "a right herbert" and the name Burt just stuck.
Many years ago I knew a football coach named Tom Parke who everyone called Toastie and I never found out why.
Schoolteachers usually have a nickname. At secondary school we had a Beewee (Henry Blakeney) and an Ouefy (Mr Fox-Hawes) so called after the French word for egg for some reason. Then there was Tweedie Harris, Dog Wills, Sooty Sewter (a more obvious one that), Tinny Stephenson (The Head) and many more. All those nicknames we repeated without ever having a clue where they came from. And at journalism college we had Red Mole - so called because he was a communist and looked like a Mole!
Thankfully most nicknames are good natured, although some are cruel. I would love to hear what some of your nicknames have been or nicknames you have had for other people. I call you all my bloggettes which is a kind of nickname. Perhaps you have a nickname for me as well.
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Was out wandering around Wymondham with my cousin yesterday (it's our age you know) when we were stopped by a lady with a small dog who asked us directions.
"You come from Hethersett," she said to me. So my fame has spread three miles up the road (smiley face here).
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Today I'm off into Norwich to have my COVID booster jab - a real shot in the arm. I'm looking forward to seeing how work is progressing in St Stephen's. Apparently the tarmac is going onto the surface after the previous one had to be dug up again because of problems. This work has taken what seems like (and probably is) years and must have cost millions of pounds. Actually I looked it up and it's 6.1 million and the work has taken the whole of this year. And what do we get for that kind of money? Well we get sawtooth bus bays which means buses don't park parallel with the kerb but stick out into the road. That means they have to back out. Shouldn't be too much of a problem as only taxis, buses and bikes can use the road anyway. Mind you bikes could be a bit vulnerable.
Apart from that there will be new crossing points and revamped bus shelters - and that's what you get for £6.1 million.