But this is day one of our nine day trip to Italy, although Slough isn't much like Italy although there is a pizza place just round the corner.
And the thought of getting up at 4:30 tomorrow to get to Heathrow doesn't fill me with glee.
After checking in after an almost three hour drive, we went for a walk into Eton (yes that Eton).
We found a pub for lunch where a man got a £100 fine for dropping a cigarette butt in the road. If he pays in so many days it will only cost him £75. I only mention this because you may remember that our esteemed leader Boris made a rule, broke it, causing many people who had lost loved ones to COVID great consternation. He was fined £50. So it seems that dropping a used cigarette is a bigger crime than holding a lockdown party. Who said the law is an ass?
We are staying in a Holiday Inn in a place called Chalvey which was once a village but which has now been subsumed into Slough. We walked from the hotel into Eton which was about a mile and a half. It wasn't a pleasant walk. Chalvey is very poor and rundown and full of takeaways. It always makes me smile when they build flats with balconies overlooking a four lane highway but that's what we had here alongside lots of squalor. We asked one woman whether we were walking in the correct direction for Eton. She said she had never heard of Eton. It was approximately one mile away! I'm sure this says something about something but I'm not sure what and will leave you to work it out.
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The One Show on the BBC continues to plumb new levels of crassness. A recent guest was actor Benedict Cumberbatch. He told a story about going into a coffee shop in York and being recognised. Alex Jones asked a very insightful question.
"So what did you order?"
There was what I believe is referred to as a pregnant pause.
"Well I suppose I ordered a coffee," said St Benedict.
Incredible that someone should order a coffee in a coffee shop. I can see why that is national news. It's alongside the previous one I mentioned about the pigeon walking along a snooker table at the world championships.
More about the holiday tomorrow and over the next few days I will have some photos as well.