When I come to write my autobiography (yawn yawn) I thought I would include a chapter headed "Famous people I once bumped into". It will be a very short chapter because it's only happened once (apart from the time I bumped into the Queen but that's a separate story I will include sometime).
The bump I want to write about saw us having a cup of tea on Cromer Pier. It was many years ago as our boys were quite young - probably in their early teens. I got up to go somewhere, may well have been the toilet at the entrance to the pier.
I walked straight into this man. For some reason I looked at his shoes, then his beautifully pressed trousers and then his pristine pullover and then his face. Sorry I said. "No problems" he said with a trademark smile and in a lovely lilting Irish accent.
I turned round, went back to our table and said: "I've just walked straight into Val Doonican". The response from the boys was less than enthusiastic. "who?" they said in unison.
"Only Val Doonican" I replied.
"Who he" said one of the boys in a typical teenage slang style.
"Val Doonican," I replied almost speechless.
It was at this point for the first time in my life that I realised I might be turning into my father. He used to bang on about Miki and Griff (see note 1) and Slim Whitman (see note 2) - names I thought he had made up!
Of course to us oldies, Doonican was a kind of benevolent uncle figure, a man full of charm - a kind of singing Terry Wogan. His Saturday night television shows made us feel calm and good about the world as he sat in his rocking chair (was it really a rocking chair or have a just dreamt that?) and crooned songs about Paddy McGinty's Goat and the like. I remember he had a hit with Elusive Butterfly which is a lovely song written by Bob Lind who was American and whose version is much better.
According to Wikapedia, Michael Valentine Doonican (3 February 1927 – 1 July 2015) was an Irish singer of traditional pop, easy listening, and novelty songs, who was noted for his warm and relaxed style. A crooner, he found popular success, especially in the United Kingdom where he had five successive Top 10 albums in the 1960s as well as several hits on the UK Singles Chart, including "If the Whole World Stopped Lovin'", "Walk Tall" and "Elusive Butterfly".
Some of those used home-spun philosophy: "Walk Tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye, that's what my mother told me when I was about knee high" I seem to remember. I have no idea why these lyrics get stuck in my brain.
On the occasion of my "bump with fame," Val was appearing at the famous Pavilion Theatre in Cromer which is almost as famous as the pier on which it stands. One of the iconic landmarks of Norfolk, the pier has featured in a number of television programmes and films.
A few nights ago I watched the film "Babs" which I had recorded from a few months ago. This was a biopic of Barbara Windsor who died recently. It starts with a rather washed out and down on her luck Babs playing a seaside venue. Yes it was Cromer Pier Pavilion. Over the years, a number of British icons and leading figures in the world of entertainment have appeared on the pier.
The pier and pavilion have a real place in my heart. During the 1970s I worked and lived in Cromer. My flat was in Corner Street which is just off Garden Street for those that know the town. That is about two minutes walk to the pier and beach. If you go to that area today you will see Mary-Jane's fish shop on the corner and the Wellington Pub just round the corner. Both were shut when I was there otherwise I fear it would have been fish and chips and beer every night. As a reporter on the North Norfolk News, one of my jobs was to cover the annual variety show and anything else taking place in the Pavilion Theatre.
I also had the enjoyable task of doing features on some of the performers and got to know some of them quite well. There was one guy, I may have mentioned him before, by the name of Steve King (no not the horror writer). Steve was absolutely star struck. After performances he often went back to the hotel where he was staying for the summer and entertained in the bar for free. He was one of those versatile performers who did a bit of comedy, a bit of singing and a few impressions - mainly of George Formby. I shared the flat with an entertainments officer from North Norfolk District Council so you can see how it all gelled nicely.
Steve and his gang's summer show ran from Monday to Saturday and on Sunday they had an old time musical. These used to be very popular. I used to find them incredibly embarrassing. So why I hear you ask did I go on numerous occasions to see the show (apart from the fact that I had a free season ticket to go as many times as I wanted)? Well it was all down to the host. These music hall shows always had a chairman who introduced the acts with a string of long words which would have the audience groaning or cheering. This role was made famous by Leonard Sachs on television. The Cromer chairman (and I have long forgotten his name) used to take to the stage after having imbibed a great deal. As a consequence he slurred his very long words, often dropped the handkerchief he was supposed to mop his brow with after using a particularly long and involved sentence and, on one occasion, bent over to pick it up and let off a rather loud fart - much to the amusement of the audience who were laughing at him and not with him.
Other things that have been set either on or around Cromer Pier include the Christmas advert in 2019 which was set in the town, the end scene of an Alan Partridge/Steve Coogan film Alpha Papa and Babs as I have already mentioned. There are probably many more as well.
On the subject of famous people who aren't. I once went to a party somewhere in the Midlands where the host told us that Rodney Bewes would be attending. Bewes is best known for appearing alongside James Bolam in the sit com The Likely Lads. He had a distinctive look and a distinctive Yorkshire accent. So we were introduced to "Rodney" who, if I'm honest was rather dull. We spent some time talking to him and then moved on.
I called over the host - "That guy doesn't look like Rodney Bewes, he doesn't sound like Rodney Bewes and he's rather boring," I said.
"That's because his name is Terry and he's a market gardener. People have told him he looks like Bewes," said the host.
Yesterday I went round the fields at the back of the parish church and took a number of snow-related photos which I hope you enjoy.
NOTES
1 Miki and Griff - Miki and Griff were a British country music duo, who had several hit singles in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Their actual names were Barbara Macdonald and Emyr Morus Griffith; Barbara (née Salisbury) was Scottish and Emyr was Welsh.
2 Slim Whitman - Ottis Dewey Whitman Jr. (January 20, 1923 – June 19, 2013), professionally known by the stage name Slim Whitman, was an American country music, western music and folk music artist singer-songwriter and instrumentalist known for his yodelling abilities and his smooth, high, three-octave-range falsetto in a style christened as " countrypolitan ".