I have tried over the years to learn a bit of Italian, Spanish, German and even Yorkshire but it always comes down to the same thing. I'm useless at languages. It's a skill I don't possess like drawing, singing and dancing. I am equally inadequate at them all. It's the same as my inability to learn lines or poetry. My brain is just not wired up to allow me to do it. But it is wired up to allow me to take in any number of irrelevant facts about things and also to do rapid mental arithmetic. So I'm not sure what all that is about.
I would dearly love to be able to speak many different languages but, apart from a smattering of French, I really am up the creek without a paddle
I have had a number of interesting encounters in France like the day a crepe stall owner found out I was English and asked if we could hold a conversation with her speaking in English and me speaking in French and all I wanted was a number two with an extra slice of lemon.
Another occasion was when I was staying with a friend who owned a cottage in rural France. We were invited to have a meal with a neighbour and his wife who spoke no English. The man, who was a retired local police chief, delighted in showing us a map of the UK where a specific village name was a rude word in French. The name eludes me. It was probably something like Wigan.
My friend was fairly proficient in French. I'm sure I was very quiet not because I was anti social or shy but because once I had told them how old I was and how old my wife was, where we lived and the fact I had once won £10 on the national lottery, I had pretty much exhausted everything I could say in French which didn't help much the next day when our host's son took me for a spin in his sports car and told me all kind of things that I didn't understand. All I could say was Oui and nod my head at what I thought was appropriate points. He probably thought I was a damn decent cove, well interested in French sports cars. I will explain my disinterest in cars in a coming blog.
That all reminds me of a trip to Vienna when I asked for a slice of apple cake in what I thought was my best German only to end up with chocolate cake. A dear lady came and sat with us and told us her life story. Well I think it was her life story. It could have been a list of football results for all I knew. We just kept nodding sagely and she kept talking. She probably went away thinking "well they were good listeners."
Norwich City footballer Christoph Zimmerman is German and one of our favourite players despite not being a regular in the first team. He speaks fluent English with virtually no discernible accent. Obviously he couldn't read the German sign we made to welcome him to the club although I'm now wondering whether it didn't quite say what we wanted it to. It probably said Welcome Christoph hope you aren't here for long or something of that ilk.
Apart from my inability to learn languages, I also had a problem learning shorthand which is a similar skill in many ways. I eventually did achieve a level of proficiency but was amazed at the dexterity of a fellow reporter. He spoke fluent French and so was sent to France on a murder investigation surrounding a couple from Norfolk who had been killed. He spoke to the authorities in French, translated their answers to English and then wrote them down in shorthand and that really is some skill. He must have a very quick working brain.
I often wonder if linguists think in their own language and then translate their answers into the language they are speaking or do they think and speak in the language they are talking in? I must try to find out one day.
But enough of this interminable waffle. Yesterday we visited Reggia de Calabria which is the largest city in the region. It seems to be quite modern with a 1 km walk which is along the waterfront and very pleasant. It is said to be the best 1 km in Italy and I can understand why.
It looks across a short stretch of sea to the island of Sicily - another hugely volcanic island. We went there once and visited Palermo which I have voted my most disliked city we have visited. It was full of crumbling buildings and dead cats in the gutter. Actually that would make a good title for a novel or travel book: "Crumbling Buildings and Dead Cats."
Another Peter Sarstedt song kept coming into my mind as we walked along the boulevard. It's another lovely song and the lyrics seemed perfect for where we were and its title is Boulevard.
Boulevard
Lovely café home from home
Where I spend my afternoon
Hoping life will touch me soon
Boulevard
I wait till evening shadows fall
And then pretend to see someone
Across the road to where I run
But the boulevard
It knows me well
It feels my sorrow
It feels my need
Yes the boulevard
It understands
Each passing stranger
Each change of speed
Boulevard
A place where people come and go
Where some of us will never show
How inwardly we seem to grow
Ah but the boulevard
It knows me well
It feels my sorrow
It feels my need
Yes the boulevard
It understands
Each passing stranger
Each change of speed, yes
We then went to Scilla which is pronounced Sheila as in Sheila as opposed to Cilla as in Cilla Black. It was hugely picturesque and pleasantly warm at 23 degrees. Here in Calabria in the height of summer it can get to a strangulating 40 degrees. I wouldn't be able to stand that and would have to hide in an air conditioned apartment.
From the station we were jammed into little motorised taxis which resembled Asian Tuk Tuks. The drivers were playing a game with us, racing against each other and throwing us around as they deliberately drove over potholes and round bends on the wrong side of the road (or correct side of the road if you were in the UK).
Scilla is one of those places I would like to visit again but almost certainly never will. In many ways it is idyllic and if you are in the area do put it on your itinerary. Our tour manager said it was her second favourite place in all of Italy (now I know you are going to ask me what her favourite is but I can't remember despite admitting earlier to being able to remember so many irrelevant facts).
Anyway enough for today. See you tomorrow. Hope you enjoy some of the photographs today which are of Reggia and Scilla.