I imagine that I have a deep resonant bass voice but in reality it's anything but.
I don't have any discernible accent. People I meet for the first time can't actually tell where I'm from, although I suspect most of them don't care anyway.
So why am I pointing this out. Well on the past whilst working for Norfolk Police I often appeared on television and even more often on local radio.
I was very happy doing interviews but tried to avoid either watching them or listening to them. If I avoided avoiding them I would squirm with embarrassment. In our house there is very much a difference in pronunciation. I go for castle and bath as they should be pronounced ie with a long vowel sound as in carsel and Barth. The other four fifths, however, talks about casels and bath to rhyme with fath whatever that is.
So why am I pointing this out? Well recently I did an interview with Anne Cockburn from the Wymondham and Attleborough Talking Newspaper which is an audio presentation sent to blind and visually impaired local people. I'm sure that for many it's a vital lifeline. The production takes stories from a number of local sources including Hethersett Herald and the interview was to recognise the 100th edition.
One of the questions I couldn't answer was are you planning on another 100 editions? I did point out that by that time I would be very old if I'm still around. I don't think anyone wants to see a reporter wandering around the village with a Zimmer frame.
But it does pose a problem and here is an offer you can't refuse. Who would like to take over Hethersett Herald from me? Don't all rush at once.
Come to think of it. Who would like to ghost write my daily blog? All you would have to do is get into my head and understand the way I think. Now that is a frightening thought and somewhere you just don't want to go.
Anyway I listened on Sunday night to the interview and, after an initial cringe, I didn't find it too bad. If you do want to listen to it just go to the Wymondham and Attleborough Talking Newspaper's website and look for their news section and go to the last ten minutes or so of the episode for February 16th. Let me know what you think.
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I managed singlehandedly to stop a meeting of Hethersett Parish Council last night. What did I do? Did I run amuck? Did I cause a riot? Was I guilty of unreasonable behaviour? Absolutely not.
I was trying to find a council report on something or other when a rather loud advert broke into councillors' discussion.
"A heart attack can happen to anyone at any time."
Many of the councillors felt it was an appropriate advert as they tried to wrestle with some knotty problems.
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Did anyone see the BAFTAs on Sunday night? Did anyone see the idiot on roller skates who was trying very hard to be amusing? Apparently the character was Mr Swallow from an Apple TV series.
But wait a minute, I thought. I recognise that silly fellow. Nick Mohammed for it was he.
Eldest son is a big fan of Mr Mohammed and was most impressed when we saw him in a town on one of our travels. I forget exactly where it was. We spotted him in the high street and then there he was with his family in some tea rooms we went to.
He seemed quite a serious person with no roller skates in sight and only a mere hint of strange dress. Eldest son must have stared a little too intently or maybe it was me because as Mr Mohammed past us he looked in our direction and there was the hint of a smile. I think he had rumbled us.