Yes the world is bracing itself for my autobiography. Queues will be around the block with many sleeping out all night ready for the official launch.
Like Harry I will be telling you how I lost my virginity to an older woman and will be telling you how many people I have killed (none). You can marvel at my stories of standing freezing on football touchlines, of going to work every day, of reading books and listening to music.
I was struggling for a title for my book but have now decided to call it "Part." That will give you the chance to pop it next to Prince Harry's book so that if you read across the spine of the two volumes it will read Spare Part.
But I won't be stopping there. My next book will simply be titled "A" and the following one will be called "I Feel Like". That way you can line those three up with Prince Harry's and you will have I Feel Like A Spare Part. You will have to have them in that order or you might end up with something ridiculous like A Spare Part I Feel Like.
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On a more serious note. Do you get the feeling that we live in a country that is spiralling out of control? Do you feel that the country is grinding to a halt?
As I've said on numerous occasions I am not a political animal (I really am not) but our relatively new Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is beginning to annoy me greatly by refusing to answer any question put to him.
"Mr Sunak could you tell me your first name."
"It's important that we realise that my first name may not be the important issue here. The important thing to stress is that we have put 93 billion pounds into the NHS."
I'm sure you get the idea.
Mr Sunak seems to be detached from any form of reality. I have heard so many horror stories recently of people waiting an entire day for an ambulance to turn up and then been left in a hospital corridor on a trolley for many hours. Then there are the horror stories of people unable to meet energy bills as rampant inflation attacks us all. Of course I'm sure Mr Sunak with his millions is also feeling the pinch.
If I wasn't such an optimist I might get depressed by all this.