Of course I don't mean that deliberately. I have never been involved in either the planning or the execution of a murder. Probably the word execution is the wrong one there.
This section of my book details some of the murders for which I was part of the senior investigating team when I worked for Norfolk Police.
So I thought it might be interesting to some for me to talk about just two of those murders - one which was solved by a very good piece of police work and one which to this day is unsolved and which has now become a cold case.
So I start with the murder of a 12 year old boy on the North Norfolk coast.
I vividly remember sitting in a room full of barristers, police and journalists awaiting a verdict on the man accused of murdering Thomas Marshall.
Thomas lived in Happisburgh in North Norfolk (for those not from Norfolk that is pronounced Hayesborough). I was at my desk in Norwich when we got details of a missing boy. I informed the media but gave them the usual off the record briefing. They always appreciated a steer as to whether we were really concerned and on this occasion I got it wrong by telling them we were fairly sure he had just gone wandering.
Things changed considerably when Thomas' body was found dumped in a lay by on the A 11 near Thetford. He had been strangled and a murder enquiry was launched. I drove out to Happisburgh to meet Thomas' parents John and Carol and to talk to them about press conferences etc.
It might seem to be rather cruel to talk about press conferences to a family ripped apart and a mother and father who have just lost their only son but often publicity is the best way to help solve a crime and it was my job to get this over to them.
The press worked closely with us on this one and we held a number of off the record briefings to keep the media informed. These were carried out either by myself or by my colleague and good friend Jon Smith (and Jon I know you will be reading this, so let's have that lunch soon).
There was one main suspect, a local shopkeeper by the name of Kevan Reynolds. The media even interviewed this man because it was known Thomas frequented his shop and had been known to be rather cheeky towards him for certain reasons I won't go into here but which you can read about on the internet.
Reynolds was eventually arrested and charged with murder after some unusual and top class policing detective work. A bead was found in the sink's u bend at his home and it matched those on a necklace worn by Thomas and which it turned out had been used to strangle the boy.
The necklace was of a unique design and a trip to Hong Kong by detectives sealed the fact that the bead had come from Thomas' necklace.
The verdict eventually came through - guilty of murder. We held a press briefing outside the court. This featured the police and an uncle and aunt of Thomas as his parents were too upset and understandably so.
There were plenty of unsavoury details that came out at the trial with regards to Reynolds as I've already said
It wasn't just the police who suspected Reynolds. Brian Farmer a journalist with the Press Association was convinced of his guilt having interviewed him and asked him certain questions that the police maybe couldn't.
I well remember spending the morning of a Bank Holiday Monday with the Marshall family and coming home and going to the village pub and sitting in the garden, feeling hugely depressed and stressed whilst all around me drank and had a good time. Somehow this didn't seem right to me although of course they had no idea where I had been earlier that morning. There will be more on the Thomas Marshall murder in my coming autobiography.
Whilst on the subject of murder, I am currently working my way through the novels of Agatha Christie. Having read Lucy Worsley's biography of Christie I have been interested how Agatha weaves bits of her own life and views into her novels.
It was known that she didn't always get on with the Media and on page 171 of Murder In The Vicarage she has the following to say about journalists.
"I was aware of a small army of young men with bright, alert faces and a kind of superficial resemblance to each other..... Journalists I said."
Talk about lumping a group of people together.