Meanwhile cut to a room not too far away.
"Come on people we need a slogan."
"Well let's think of something sexy. Something that will draw the punters in. Something that will make them feel guilty if they don't buy our product."
In this instance I refer to Naked Wines who in one fell swoop managed to grab my attention and then alienate me against their product. Their marketing rubbish came in the post yesterday and praised me for being a discerning wine buyer. No idea how they came to this conclusion but their letter was aimed 100% at me and, of course, nobody else in the known universe.
It started by building me up:
"I usually only give wines like these to my best customers, but I'm willing to take a chance on you for one simple reason I think you'll love our wines."
I bet they send that letter out to thousands - all of whom they are willing to take a chance on (Cue Abba Song "Take a Chance on Me").
Then they spoil it with the insult: "Only a wine-o-phobe would turn this deal down because frankly it's a no-brainer.
I assume they consider that I don't have a brain then! It's a form of bullying. You aren't a wine-o-phobe so couldn't possibly turn this offer down.
Marketing messages continue to become more and more ridiculous. Here's one for receiving the ITV television hub giving you access to ITV programmes without adverts. "Start living your uninterrupted best life." What on earth does that mean? Mind you when I got up this morning with the day stretching ahead I immediately thought to myself "Today I'm going to live my uninterrupted best life."
The mail brought yet another cruise brochure. This one was for Viking and they were offering a round the world tour visiting about 26 countries and lasting over 100 days. The cost was just under £45,000 each. I think we will have to give this a miss.
I had a moment's wonder. If I had £45,000 and had to spend it on something would I prefer to have a round the world trip lasting approximately three months or a car which might last six or more years. That would be a tough decision but not one I will have to make.
* * *
COVID restrictions have been lifted in England and it will be interesting to see how things go. Personally I'm happy to still wear a face covering on public transport and in shops and probably will do so until things are a little more under control.
Interestingly we have the AGM of the Norfolk Family History Society this coming Saturday and a decision was taken a couple of weeks ago to make this a Zoom meeting rather than having people in our hall in Norwich.
Doing it via zoom will give our members who are stretched out throughout the world the chance to participate. It will be early morning in North America and late evening in Australasia. So it will be interesting to see how many people turn up. One thing lockdown has taught the society is the need to ensure we are inclusive to all our members and not just those in striking distance of Norfolk.
* * *
I know some local groups and societies haven't survived the pandemic. A number of village groups have gone out of existence. They just never came back after restrictions were lifted. These include Hethersett Pensioners and the Hethersett Society. It is sad when this happens.
On Wednesday evening I attended a meeting of Hethersett and the Meltons' Sports Association (HAMSA) and just four of us turned up. We are going to try to regenerate the group with an important meeting in April when we hope as many sports clubs as possible will attend. The idea behind the Association is to bring sports and fitness groups and individuals together to share ideas and for the mutual benefit of all. Ten years ago we were a thriving group but lockdown has lost us the habit of meeting and a lot of work needs to be done.
One event being planned is the Hethersett Round the Square fun run which until lockdown was a hugely successful event bringing well over 200 runners/walkers together for a two mile circuit of the village on a date in July.
The event is primarily organised by Shane Hull and Shane is looking to re-boot (or should that be re-shoe) it either this July or in 2023 depending on circumstances. It will be the 10th running (or walking) of the event that proved so popular in the past.
I always think that when it comes to running the word fun is a misnomer. Personally I don't see anything remotely fun about it. Mind you I'm struggling after tennis yesterday. At the moment I'm having problems moving. Perhaps it's time to give the sport up. I considered it for a couple of seconds and then dismissed the idea. There's still life in this old dog.
* * *
Those that know me will be aware my almost obsessive interest in the history of the Beatles. Yes I love their music, but it's the lives of the four guys that I find intriguing. So I started to watch the Peter Jackson documentary Get Back with great anticipation. After a couple of hours I gave up.
Basically it's eight hours of rehearsals for a concert featuring songs from the albums Let It Be and Abbey Road. It's four guys with a load of hangers on messing about with music and chatting. After an hour or so this becomes tedious. You don't know whether the lads are being themselves or playing for the camera. It all seems quite pally but underneath it all the Beatles were imploding.
I like the film Nowhere Boy which gives a reasonably true depiction of the early life of John Lennon but nobody has ever produced a film looking at their early lives, how Lennon and McCartney met, how Harrison was invited into the band, how Ringo replaced Pete Best, how Pete Best's mother used to let the group play in the basement of her home, how the deaths of their mothers affected Lennon and McCartney (in very different circumstances. McCartney's mother Mary - featured in the song Let It Be - died from cancer whereas Lennon's mother Julia was killed in a road accident after being hit by an off duty policeman). Also I can't remember any film tackling their stay in Hamburg.
A series of films depicting their early lives, their growing up in Liverpool and their early years at the Cavern Club and in Hamburg would be brilliant. I'm sure somebody will now tell me that there has been such a film. I would certainly like to know. Chris P - any thoughts.
* * *
For a number of years we have been running a dementia support group in Hethersett. This morning we have a meeting to discuss changing the name of this group to the Forget Me Not Club. We want to be more inclusive for people who are lonely or just want a chat on a couple of Tuesday mornings every month.