The only thing I can't come to terms with is writing fiction. It just doesn't happen for me although many of my blogettes might feel that I make things up all the time. I genuinely don't. If you find anything I write amusing it will be because I have found something amusing and decided to put it down on paper (or nowadays on a computer).
I intend trying to write some short stories in the future. I usually find short stories unappealing because they seem to go nowhere and end hanging in the air so I think it's time to have a go.
I have a couple in mind. One is a story I have written before which does have an up in the air ending. I won't say any more. The second, which is an idea percolating in my mind, surrounds a world and maybe a planet in the future. This is very similar to ours but there is an overlord who decides that two towns should come into existence 250 miles apart. Both are at the seaside and they are mirror images of each other. They have the same shops, the same facilities and look identical. But over the years they change - one for the better becoming a thriving and rich community and one for the worse becoming run down. Not quite sure how it will develop.
Overall I enjoy writing non fiction. I enjoy the research that has to go into writing factual stuff, but above all I just love writing.
I once heard a very good description of creative writing that was explained through a game of cricket. I think it probably came from author Malcolm Bradbury.
He explained it as follows. Non creative writing just revolves around a report of a cricket match taken from a scorebook. This gives details of who scored what, who took how many wickets and who won the game. Creative writing puts that game into its context and describes the ground, the weather, what happened in the game, how people behaved and much more. Of course this isn't a lot of good if you are reading a newspaper report and just want to know the scores.
Somebody asked me once what I enjoy writing the most and that would probably be light-hearted stuff. Things like the piece I wrote yesterday about the tennis coverage on television. This seems to write itself and I love making asides which seems to be my style. The problem with writing "comedy" is you never know whether readers will find it amusing. If they don't you have failed.
So my very small bit of comedy today comes once again from the cube at the Australian Open tennis. I don't know why they call it a cube as it just seems to be a large room that for some reason has a small pond in it. Anyway picture the scene. There is Mats Wilander, there is Tim Henman and there is the random woman. On outside broadcast we have Buffy who has let her hair down (literally).
Random woman looks at Mats and Tim and says "Guys you look so smart today."
Both Mats and Tim are wearing suits with open neck shirts and sneakers and looking very ordinary.
Off we go to Buffy. "Buffy you look so good today" says random woman.
Not to be outdone Buffy wades in.
"Mats you look wonderful. I love that white shirt with the big collar." Mats is wearing a white shirt with a big collar.
I thought it time I found out who the random cube woman is. But first I had a chuckle at the description of the programme which went thus:
Ever since 2010 ex-tennis stars Mats Wilander and Barbara Schett-Eagle have been the main tennis presenters of Eurosport with their flagship show called ‘Game, Schett and Mats’. Once again the duo will be providing all the studio coverage with exclusive interviews, analyses and guest talks between live matches.
I wish I had thought up that Game, Schett and Mats line.
The random woman presenter turns out to be someone called Alize Lim who is French. Unlike all the other players who got to number one in their respective countries, Lim never got higher than a world ranking of 135.
Then shock horror. Good old Laura Robson was out and about in Melbourne, telling us that she was born there. Robson's delivery is what I would call wooden.
"Just pretend I'm covered in Emu poo to make things more realistic" she says at one point as she is taught how to catch Emus by dressing up like one and then smacking it over the head when it comes close. The mind boggles.
"I thought she was a natural Emu hunter. I could just see her covered in feathers and Emu Poo," interjects Tim Henman who let's face it isn't the world's funniest man.
But who is laughing all the way to the bank here? Yes good old Laura is living the life, talking about Emu excrement and being paid to do so. People have often said I talk a load of old s--t but I don't get paid for so doing.
Anyway I must stop writing about this programme before my funny jibes become boring.
I must say that Melbourne looks wonderful. We've been to Sydney and Perth in Australia but would love to go to Adelaide and Melbourne. Problem is the huge distances involved to get there and then the jetlag at the other end which always seems to be worse on the way back than on the way out.
I actually got back to playing tennis today. It was cold and a bit windy but it's always good to get out onto the court. Heard a very amusing comment by Ken Bruce on the car radio on the way.
He was talking about awards. "You know you're really in trouble when you get a lifetime achievement award," Sir Ken said.