I feel the need to explain just what Norfolk humour is and why it can confuse people. Let's start by saying I have a Norfolk sense of humour. It means that we laugh at silly things like Monty Python, the Goons, Little Britain, the Harry Enfield Show and Faulty Towers. We find them hilarious.
And when it comes to dishing out humour, we go on the attack. The Norfolk sense of humour involves and includes insulting people you like. And what's more they will insult you back. They will do this to your face and they will do it in a group situation.
If for example you are expected to join a group for lunch at the pub (much as I explained yesterday) and you turn up slightly late you are almost certain to be insulted along the lines of "Blimey we thought you had got lost. We were hoping you had fallen under a bus." Now it may not appear like it but this is Norfolk humour.
It's the kind of thing of course that can get you in trouble if somebody without a Norfolk sense of humour is listening in. But a true Norfolk man or woman will just reply with something like "Well it looks like you've been under a bus already." And so it goes on.
The problem is Norfolk humour can be misunderstood by those 1/ who are not from the county 2/ who are serious people and 3/ who don't have a sense of humour themselves.
There's no problem usually when you are using Norfolk humour on somebody from Norfolk. In a Wymondham cafe (our favourite cafe) yesterday I had a good old steak and kidney puddin (that's pudding without the g) with veg and potatoes. It was well cooked, wholesome and excellent value for money. I polished it off but when the owner came to clear away the plates and asked me how the meal was I immediately replied. "It was horrible." Being a Norfolk boy he understood and just pointed to the fact that it was so horrible I had wolfed it down in super quick time. I pointed out that I did leave some gravy.
On so many occasions I have had to explain that I'm not complaining but have been trying to be funny. Perhaps I should stop as non Norfolk people can take offence.
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My article yesterday about embarrassingly bad songs struck a chord (pardon the pun) with many. So I have added the terrible "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool" by the equally terrible Little Jimmy Osmond who is no longer little by the way. Isn't it worrying when people grow up? I wonder if Wee Willie Harris is still wee now that he's 88 years of age? Mind you Diddy David Hamilton the DJ is still diddy and he's nearly 83.
Others to add include "Whispering Grass" by Windsor Davies and Don Estelle, and "The Floral Dance" by Terry Wogan. Please keep them coming. I could put together a playlist and then never play it. I remember many years ago the influential DJ John Peel released an LP (these were the days before CDs and downloads) of the worst songs ever recorded.
Haven't been able to hunt this down at the moment but I seem to remember it had a German version of Wonderbar on it. Of course there was a very entertaining film a few years ago about the Opera singer Florence Foster Jenkins who basically couldn't sing but insisted in subjecting the public to her performances where they would laugh at her not with her. Many years ago BBC Classic Music magazine issued a compilation CD in April informing us that one of the tracks was an April Fool. We all assumed it was the piece by Florence Foster Jenkins but it was something else (don't remember exactly what).
I used to love compilation LPs. My favourite is no longer available and I don't think has ever been released on CD. It was called Bumpers and was a double album with a bright yellow sleeve with a bumper or plimsol/trainer on the sleeve. Does anyone else remember or have this? It was so good as it covered so many different genres of music. You can still buy second hand copies on E-Bay
I have tried to reconstitute this album as a playlist on Spotify but am still missing a few tracks. The full track listing is:
Every Mother's Son by Traffic
Love by Bronco
I Am The Walrus by Spooky Tooth
Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Gauranga by Quintessence
Thunderbuck Ram by Mott The Hoople
Nothing to Say by Jethro Tull
Going Back West by Jimmy Cliff
Send Your Son To Die by Blodwyn Pig
Little Woman by Dave Mason
Go Out and Get It by Beverley and John Martyn
Cadence and Cascade by King Crimson
Reaching Out On All Sides by If
Oh I Wept by Free
Hazey Jane by Nick Drake
Walk Awhile by Fairport Convention
Maybe You're Right by Cat Stevens
Island by Renaissance
The Sea by Fotheringay
Take Me To Your Leader by Clouds
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You may remember a number of blogs ago I talked about celebrities suddenly all writing books and questioned whether these were Ghost written by other authors and of course by and large they are. The latest is a romance allegedly written by the Duchess of York entitled "Her Heart For a Compass." It was in the I Newspaper that I found a tell tale comment informing us that the Duchess has already signed up to write a follow up (and this is the important bit) along with her co-author Marguerite Kaye who just happens to have written over 50 historical novels. I wonder who did the most writing on this novel??? No prizes for guessing that one.
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As I have said I have been loving the Olympics and how well Team GB has been doing. I was just wondering which events I would be in line for a gold medal in if they were introduced to the Games.
I reckon I would be favourite to strike gold in the fastest growing eyebrows' event and would definitely be in with a chance of a medal in the sweatiest human being event and I would definitely be there or there abouts in the writing the most banal, pointless and sad blog event. I'm also in training for the 2024 Paris Olympics in the most consecutive sneezes (allergy) marathon where my record is 26. This would in turn lead to automatic entry into the quivering messy wreck sprint.
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My final comment today is a more serious one. My car has a gauge on it which informs me when my fuel is low. It comes on when I'm about 50 miles from empty. Today it was down to about 36. So what did I do when I passed Waitrose and Abbeygate Garage at Wymondham. I kept going. In a few days time when I'm down to about 20 miles I will drive past Thickthorn Services. I will eventually stop at Earlham Fiveways to fill up.
I hate Earlham Fiveways petrol station. It is cramped, small and there are usually queues. I would much rather stop at Abbeygate or Waitrose or Thickthorn but I refuse to pay 10p per litre more than at Fiveways. Why oh why oh why cannot we have just one of those three stations selling competitively priced petrol.
If one of them did that I would give them my custom. So this week they will miss out on my £50. They will miss out on approx £75 per month or £900 a year from me and I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking this way.